I was always stronger

I hate being asked if I miss you, I lie EVERY time. It's been too long since you were in my life & I know moving on is a must. I knew this since day one. & trust me, my mind has been convinced for a while that Im over you. Im a smart girl. People dont make it in my life, than I can't do anything about it. Im sure for some reason you weren't supposed to be here right now, not with me, and obviously not even my friend. I can't deny the change you brought and Ill always thank you. I really hope that one day you can find in in your heart to forgive me, because I didnt mean to cause the pain I did. Yeah, days I remember certain things & I can't hep but smile. When people bring up your name, I remember it all. & some nights, I've never felt colder, so I cry - because the warmth of your arms is what I crave. When I wake up though, it's like I know better & get through my day like nothing, without pain. I wonder if you ever think of me though, I wouldn't want you too. I wouldn't want you to feel the awfulness of every promise we broke. Ill just leave that pain to me. After all I was stronger. They tell me your happy, and I hope they don't lie. You deserve all the happiness you can get your hands on. Even if it is her - not me. & all I hear is that im too beautiful to be sad, and single. Im not sad though! just a bit bitter, angry - at myself more than anything. & as for being beautiful and single, I have yet to meet a man that I don't see as more than just a one night thing. I haven't meet a person that can make my heart stop and give me butterflies. I can't see my future in any ones eyes. It scares me that I let something that mattered so much to me go. Never really been a fighter for what I wanted, in this case what I needed. But im a smart girl - & maybe not today, or tomorrow, or even next week - but ill move on. I might be alone for a while, but it's nothing new. I was always stronger.......